The Ultimate Guide to Finding Belonging

Guided message on “Belonging”

I’ve been reflecting on the word belonging, as I’ve heard many bring up in sessions with me on how much they want to feel they belong.

When most people speak about Belonging, they describe fitting in, being accepted, or finding people who understand them. I used to think that too.

For years, I felt like I didn’t quite belong. I also believed what I wanted most was to be understood, so that then I could find where I “belonged”. Understood not in my words, but in how I experience life, how I interact, the choices I make, and the way I move through the world.

Over time, that shifted, I realized I understand myself.

I know where my choices come from. God knows where they come from. That’s more than enough for me.

Though there’s something even deeper…

The longing I thought was for another person wasn’t actually for another person. It was for home…

For a long time, I thought home was something I would someday find in the right relationship, the right friendships, the right community, or the right place.

But home was never outside of me.

Home was always in the heart of divine. Inner Sacred Union. A personal relationship with what God is to me.

And because God is within me, home was always within me too. That’s when my interpretation of belonging changed.

I no longer experienced belonging as something another person could give me, or a location or experience. It became something I carried with me, through me.

The irony is that the less I needed someone else to understand me, the more deeply I was able to understand them and myself.

The less I needed someone else to create my sense of belonging, the more naturally I experienced it wherever I went. And within myself.

I still deeply value meaningful relationships, appreciate people who resonate with me and cherish those moments of being deeply met. However, they no longer define my peace. They no longer determine whether I feel whole.

Relationships are no longer where I go looking for home. Experiences or locations isn’t home. It’s where I go to share the home I’ve already found. Within.

I’ve also noticed when we build an understanding of another person, it’s easy to begin relating to the version of them we’ve already collected. A collection of moments, memories, beliefs, and perceptions. But people are living beings and we’re continually growing, expanding, learning to be.

Maybe one of the greatest expressions of love is continuing to know someone instead of assuming you’ve already known them.

For me, belonging is no longer about fitting in or about needing to be fully understood in any capacity.

It’s about remembering that I belong to God, God is within me, and therefore I belong wherever I am.

From that place, every connection becomes something I get to share, not something I need in order to become whole.

Belonging isn’t something we spend our lives searching for, it’s something we remember. And once we remember it within ourselves, we begin creating spaces where others can remember it too.

Xo

I love you, Sarah Elkins, Founder of HUman Meets BEinG